My year so far

A quarter of the year has already escaped me and I would like to say I have stuck to the goals I set myself at the start of 2016 but like my ability to stand after a few bottles of wine my commit to them has also faded.

In January I blasted through a shed load of blog posts, was a regular feature in the gym and was pretty much working my glutes off, now two things changed which had a big impact on my motivation and energy levels.

The first being the weather, I don't do well in the darker months, all I want to do is sleep and the more I sleep the more terrible I feel with a heavy sense of dissatisfaction with me wasting my life rotting in bed.

January was very mild, couple that with the New Year New Me glow everyone gets once you have recovered from your new years hangover and you get an incredibly productive month from, bring on the crappy British weather and a house with central heating in every room and you are going to see me transform into sloth.

The other thing that ruined me was my attempt at bulking, now I did gain size, both fat and muscle but the high calorie foods took their toll on me.

I felt sluggish all of the time, I stopped going to the gym as much and my blogging stalled, I wasn't happy with my abs disappearing, waist getting bigger and peoples comments on how skinny I am which started making me think I might have body dysmorphia!

Thankfully I do take regular pictures of myself so I can compare how my body is looking when I change up my diet or training so I could justify how I am feeling/ looking to myself.

I expect people were trying to be kind but when I are trying to bulk up and are feeling heavy and disgusting being told you are skinny makes me feel "why I am putting myself through this"?

Honestly I would rather diet than try and bulk, I find it tedious eating to fuel myself rather than for the enjoyment of what I am eating.

When  diet I put much more thought into what I am eating so every meal is something to look forward to, plus I am actually hungry and ready to get some food in my belly.

With the sun out I have booked myself into doing the Bubble Rush 5k for St Gemma's Hospice with Irene, the same charity that organised the Santa Dash I ran in December.

I would of liked to of done some sort of event before now but my heart just hasn't been in it, sadly I don't have a strong support system in my life to pick me up when I am feeling crappy so it's left up to me to pick myself up and get my act together!

If you are interested in taking part yourself here is a link to the Bubble Rush website, it's on the 23rd of April, sorry I have left this post far too late but hopefully some of you will sign up!

Hopefully I can stay positive and motivated for the rest of the year!